me: what’s for dinner?
her: *spreads her legs*
so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it.
- Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
- Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
- Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
- Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
- Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
- Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
- Me: /dinosaur screams/
i was in the car with my mum today and she stopped reversing and looks at me and was like “is that a hickey ??? On ur neck ?????? did a boy do that to u ????????? i thought u’d be alone forever on ur laptop.” the hickey was a bruise from where i accidentally shot myself in the neck with a nerf dart while trying 2 recreate a scene in star trek. my life is so pathetic even mum wants me 2 get some
stop reblogging this